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alvarny

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alvarny
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1031
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (6069)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (4947)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (3887)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (3118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13473) - you deserved it (35855)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (37895)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22701) - you deserved it (2635)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24162) - you deserved it (2155)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6128) - you deserved it (34424)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML

#18357588
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (6566)

On 11/26/2011 at 3:50pm - love - by Rich (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26929) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was getting out of the shower, when my boyfriend decided to ask, "Did your boobs get smaller, or did you just gain weight around them?" FML

#18089011
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (4367)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by The fat and the ugly (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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