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alvarny

Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

alvarny

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3186
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>liv1222</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:01pm<b>rainbowlack</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>MasteredBastard</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:58am<b>Nicsb</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>mmllol21</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:16pm<b>EleanorHu</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:46pm<b>avatar0810</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:39am<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm

Fucked!<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

alvarny's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32568) - you deserved it (1974)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (3934)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

#19337842
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28109) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:20am - kids - by thammer - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (11653)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25045) - you deserved it (7306)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (2740)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (4205)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (5693)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (19501)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (54401)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2149)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2149)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (29920)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9722) - you deserved it (57407) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France



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