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alvarny

Offline (the 10/05/2014 at 1:08am) | Search for a member

alvarny

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  • Number of visits : 1556
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

alvarny's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14906) - you deserved it (41271)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (4265)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17215) - you deserved it (6556)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28424) - you deserved it (6461)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

#18872810
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (4421)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

#18814667
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (3294) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm - love - by Vitriol (man) - France

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (3756)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (38869)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (39234)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (3524)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43241) - you deserved it (4707)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (2383)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (8734)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7293) - you deserved it (38859)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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