Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alvarny

Offline (the 11/27/2015 at 4:04pm) | Search for a member

alvarny

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3163
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>rainbowlack</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 2:13pm<b>MasteredBastard</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:58am<b>Nicsb</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:24pm<b>lavapants</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 4:53am<b>mmllol21</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:30am<b>pinkster2014</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:16pm<b>EleanorHu</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:46pm<b>avatar0810</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:44am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:39am<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

alvarny's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (2527)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (4802)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (7236)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (5035)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (44172)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11849) - you deserved it (29717)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

#19767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (1693)

On 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm - work - by in_hardik - United States

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55658) - you deserved it (3587)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

#19761767
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (57129)

On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (44468)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22899) - you deserved it (5409)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30899) - you deserved it (3227)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (6523)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (2912)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (2895)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: