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alvarny

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alvarny

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2336
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27248) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (6287)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (2615)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32368) - you deserved it (2731)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31943) - you deserved it (2506)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (7195)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11571) - you deserved it (42788)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (2229)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26656) - you deserved it (3021)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28080) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (4080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2869)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (2173)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

#19591291
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17373) - you deserved it (31353)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (4326)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)



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