Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alvarny

Offline (the 08/19/2015 at 4:48am) | Search for a member

alvarny

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2653
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alvarny's page activity

Visits<b>brendapeck</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 9:32pm<b>_minifty</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:33pm<b>YodaMyNameIs</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:17pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:24pm<b>AaronRippin</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:26pm<b>peace3281</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:39pm<b>stupidioter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:15pm<b>noncomposmentis</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 2:53pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 8:26pm

alvarny's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of alvarny's badges

alvarny's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (3123)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (5169)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (7086)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (4325)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (2656)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (16152)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28633) - you deserved it (2389)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28343) - you deserved it (4707)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (7095)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33647) - you deserved it (4935)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9133) - you deserved it (43320)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10719) - you deserved it (28117)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

#19767473
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (1506)

On 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm - work - by in_hardik - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: