alslulu

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Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 7:48am)

alslulu

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About alslulu : Female. 20 years old.

alslulu's page activity

Visits<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:41pm<b>mt631</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:57pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 11:40am<b>sarah1024</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 7:27am<b>FML64128</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:25am<b>MakinMills</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 4:32pm<b>miketopgunmike1</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 11:23am<b>devildee101</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 12:22am<b>chamay</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 8:48pm<b>alonur</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 7:33pm<b>puggypark</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 1:19pm<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 9:59am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 2:56am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 7:16am<b>ComaWhiteLove</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 12:03am<b>maprea</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 10:56pm<b>KLeePrice</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 5:40pm

alslulu's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alslulu's badges

alslulu's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Love

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

by sarajj / 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

by artist / 03/29/2013 at 7:12am / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Love

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

by Bigfatfailure / 03/28/2013 at 6:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

by anonymous / 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous