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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3239
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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alshygirl's page activity

Visits<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 5:03am<b>bananajoe666</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 5:18pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:14am<b>ButtStallion2k16</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 8:49pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:08am<b>JerryClark</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:50am<b>sylvienoir</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 5:25am<b>rich443</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Allusivness</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:03am<b>BloodlustOreO</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 4:01am<b>draftskink</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:03pm<b>frazer94</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 9:22pm<b>bogwarlock</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:49am<b>fergiefergs</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Emzinatorbot</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:02am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:16am<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:16am

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alshygirl's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals

Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML

by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my boss fired me after chewing me out for the horrible date he had with my mother. FML

by fired / 05/13/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

by KO / 04/30/2014 at 12:20am / United States / Work

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

by burnmyeyes / 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

by reb / 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money