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100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
alshygirl's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by look how totally not racist I am! / 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Work
by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Fat Arsed Lass / 06/01/2014 at 6:28am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Animals
by SmittyJA24 / 05/19/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by fired / 05/13/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
by KO / 04/30/2014 at 12:20am / United States / Work
by burnmyeyes / 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML
by reb / 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML
by Ms. Piggy / 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Tennessee) / Money
- Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says "Wow, this is just too… Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few…