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alphatoomega's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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alphatoomega's favorite FMLs
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
by Latina / 01/11/2013 at 5:24am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML
by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by WhatWentWrong / 11/11/2009 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by hatethatiloveyou / 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, was just like almost every for the past few months; I slept till 1pm, smoked cigarettes, jerked off, went to the store to get coffee, smoked more cigarettes, and sat in my room alone until 4am, jerking off and smoking cigarettes. FML
by none / 01/17/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…