aloeatversailles

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Offline (the 04/26/2014 at 4:43pm)

aloeatversailles

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aloeatversailles's page activity

Visits<b>xadoringx</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:07am<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 7:08pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:43am<b>mistertbawk420</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:04am<b>MadMarky</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:33am<b>JJ_86</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:57pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 6:22am<b>lokiodinson</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 3:46pm<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:02am<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:05pm<b>djoudjou7598</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:26pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:30pm<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:40pm<b>pacelily</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:48pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:40pm

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aloeatversailles's favorite FMLs

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

by todaddy / 05/23/2014 at 3:32pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

by dating a big bag of dicks / 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm / United States / Animals

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

by Wowthanks / 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my mom spent over $200 getting me tested for every drug in the book. All because I admitted to smoking a single cigarette two years ago. FML

by ughhhh / 05/03/2014 at 5:10pm / United States / Health

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

by missmom83 / 04/24/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2014 at 3:17am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm / United States / Animals