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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (2758)
On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/17/2012 at 5:07pm - love - by colts609380 - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15571) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36968) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (1372)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (1835)
On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17011) - you deserved it (2643)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (2663)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (4264)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (116353)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15852) - you deserved it (3301)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5775) - you deserved it (45572)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (2283)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (4183)
On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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