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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (3494)
On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (2205)
On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (1709)
On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (10435)
On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (1241)
On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20208) - you deserved it (3064)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17707) - you deserved it (10796)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (15630)
On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)
Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43196) - you deserved it (2315)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (3521)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14094) - you deserved it (3602)
On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15933) - you deserved it (1479)
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (5137)
Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18175) - you deserved it (2620)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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