About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
I barely use FML anymore..
About ally_anonymous : Haaayio.
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ally_anonymous's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by internetadvice / 04/01/2009 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 9:05am / Austria (Vorarlberg) / Kids
Today, my cat got into the bathroom while I was changing my tampon. As I was throwing the applicator away, I felt a sharp pain around my vagina; I looked down to find him swatting at the tampon string. FML
by fannylovesfelix / 03/10/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by bojangles / 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
by FMluck / 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by scotto / 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML
by Jedi / 02/20/2009 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Work
by fmlfmboyfriendah / 02/13/2009 at 9:37am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by idkmybffjill? / 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (New York) / Work
by yerface / 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…