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alltimelow785

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alltimelow785

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 July 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 292
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alltimelow785's page activity

Visits<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 11:29am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 7:56pm<b>JolonBraeden</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 9:59am<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 6:47pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 8:00pm<b>somuchfeels</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 10:24pm<b>RainbowShine</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 1:31pm<b>weby11</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 2:55pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 8:14am<b>ColbyGB</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:23pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 4:25am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:50pm<b>toby84</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 7:45pm<b>bboyblock</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 6:28pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 7:47pm

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alltimelow785's favorite FMLs

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

#21090080
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53282) - you deserved it (4514)

On 03/18/2014 at 3:44pm - health - by see you next cunt (woman) - United States

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46146) - you deserved it (6773)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41006) - you deserved it (8324)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41065) - you deserved it (3810)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (14659)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34812) - you deserved it (56715)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51597) - you deserved it (11550)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (5568)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

#21017976
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (4521)

On 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm - misc - by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50968) - you deserved it (5851)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (7866) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49139) - you deserved it (4743)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)



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