Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allofasudden

Search for a member

allofasudden

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

allofasudden's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

allofasudden's favorite FMLs

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56736) - you deserved it (5516)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49446) - you deserved it (24463)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you deserved it (3621)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (3491)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (2994)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (4369)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (6688)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33660) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (7188)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33075) - you deserved it (4722)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33013) - you deserved it (2974)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (4004)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: