allison12197

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Offline (the 10/31/2016 at 11:23pm)

allison12197

0Fucked!

allison12197allison12197
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 December 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3449
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allison12197 : I just enjoy reading about how other people's lives suck

allison12197's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 12:15am<b>gerrittd</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:14pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 10:42am<b>seetei</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:10pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:51pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 6:11pm<b>Lord_Hades</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:01am<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:55am<b>kylie31</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:18pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 10:37pm<b>victordstory</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>bjf21</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Pandaburr1</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:57pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:46pm<b>jessiewelch</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:58pm<b>AnalAssault123</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:26pm

allison12197's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of allison12197's badges

allison12197's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

by Tattery / 07/03/2014 at 7:55pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

by f.a.t. / 10/04/2013 at 4:20am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

by Carebeareatu / 09/14/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

by pda / 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

by violated ._. / 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm / United States / Animals

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

by Jade / 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

by frustrated / 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm / Ireland (Kerry) / Intimacy

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health