allisadawn91

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Offline (the 12/03/2014 at 9:13am)

allisadawn91

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 957
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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allisadawn91's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:20am<b>heartsbball13</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:44pm<b>JayElleBee</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 5:09pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 1:50am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:22pm<b>RpiesSPIES</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:12pm<b>WhimsicalMusings</b> - the 11/07/2012 at 12:56pm

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The rules are the rules

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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allisadawn91's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2009 at 2:46pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

by herANDi / 04/03/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

by missy / 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

by foolishgirl / 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Work