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allisadawn91

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 7:18pm) | Search for a member

allisadawn91

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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allisadawn91's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:20am<b>heartsbball13</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:44pm<b>JayElleBee</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 5:09pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 1:50am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:22pm<b>RpiesSPIES</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:12pm<b>WhimsicalMusings</b> - the 11/07/2012 at 12:56pm

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allisadawn91's favorite FMLs

Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML

#14478840
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31919) - you deserved it (4527)

On 01/05/2011 at 9:19pm - kids - by yingyang2 - United States

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5875) - you deserved it (59658)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70010) - you deserved it (7880)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (9769)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (12790)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (11682)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26590) - you deserved it (5801)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13751) - you deserved it (32958)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9997) - you deserved it (29485)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11491) - you deserved it (31510)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (8847)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113243) - you deserved it (8504)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45778) - you deserved it (3661)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75269) - you deserved it (5309)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

#2220782
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43012) - you deserved it (13285)

On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)



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