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allisadawn91

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allisadawn91

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 348
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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allisadawn91's page activity

Visits<b>heartsbball13</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:44pm<b>JayElleBee</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 5:09pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 1:50am<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:22pm<b>RpiesSPIES</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:12pm<b>WhimsicalMusings</b> - the 11/07/2012 at 12:56pm

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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allisadawn91's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (2372)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17703) - you deserved it (4021)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

#20129656
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8272) - you deserved it (30320)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML

#20127131
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24022) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22561) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44410) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (5468)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (5459)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

#18488373
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (2981)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (11449)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

#17842672
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (4805)

On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States

Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML

#17545314
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (3820)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:38am - kids - by Danielle - United States (New York)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (8192)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12749) - you deserved it (38603)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

#14820384
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (21868)

On 02/02/2011 at 11:46pm - misc - by Username -



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