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allipurrr's favorite FMLs
by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
by baxeh / 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Animals
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
by ;_;" / 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Work
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture…