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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 15244
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

#6420618
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

#6416046
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33279) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:09am - love - by apparentlyhesbusy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (4321)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42158) - you deserved it (2491)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42449) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (4040)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working at the school when one of the kids came crying to me about needing help with his zipper after a little "accident". Forbidden by a district ordinance to touch them in certain areas, there was nothing I could do; to which he cried and pissed his pants. Again. FML

#6350911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (2444)

On 11/18/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by not_trained_for_this (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

#6349337
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (2001)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (2932)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (24626)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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