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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 15241
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (3169)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (3169)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23506) - you deserved it (6262)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (2236)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23665) - you deserved it (10288)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (2067)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34762) - you deserved it (3572)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37367) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

#6791694
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (2122)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (2204)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (3214)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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