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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 13472
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (3338)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40184) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

#6722392
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40184) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/12/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by RBEE (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11530) - you deserved it (36710)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (21216)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (21216)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (20846)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42331) - you deserved it (2610)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14554) - you deserved it (41922)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

#6651455
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (3157)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got a new smart phone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

#6645209
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (41435)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by smart phone mms - United States

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

#6636501
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

#6626957
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31882) - you deserved it (6383)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:25am - love - by barfyshirt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19362) - you deserved it (5907)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)



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