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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2010 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Work
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love
Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids
by unknown / 11/08/2010 at 9:25pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
by traumatized4life / 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML
by Whitley / 11/04/2010 at 11:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
by spockswifey / 11/03/2010 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy
by Shelly / 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by katie06 / 10/28/2010 at 2:39am / United States / Animals
Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML
by lucki / 10/27/2010 at 2:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, I bought my husband a massage to help with his back pain. He said his back hurt too much to… Today, I was coaching some kids in table tennis when I told them to try a forehand loop, or smash.… Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a…