Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Search for a member

alliewillie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12948
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>lifesentence</b> - 19 hours ago<b>mallu86</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:41pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:34pm<b>KitzaKid69</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:59pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:13am<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:20am<b>Anthonym9988</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:29pm<b>0117</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>chase201</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:57pm<b>db32</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:48am<b>superfav</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:24am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:50pm<b>rockytop33</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:24am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:14am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:59am

alliewillie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46987) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46987) - you deserved it (2609)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you deserved it (5113)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48288) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML

#6554102
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35878) - you deserved it (10042)

On 12/01/2009 at 5:24pm - kids - by poopiemanlol - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (2967)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41488) - you deserved it (4528)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML

#6497714
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (43360)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

#6487113
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (2256)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

#6487113
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (2256)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55311) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind double date with my friend. My date was actually blind. Not so bad, he seemed nice, until he told me I sound ugly and annoying. My friend laughed and agreed. FML

#6461991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (2831)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (2940)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35953) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: