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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML
by apavies444 / 11/28/2010 at 2:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 9:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML
by what / 11/26/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
by ryansmithho / 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML
by fired / 11/23/2010 at 8:41am / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Tasha84 / 11/20/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 11:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by nevergonnatrust / 11/18/2010 at 4:23am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 8:42pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
by bottomdrawerraider / 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy