Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Search for a member

alliewillie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13035
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>almostchris</b> - 10 hours ago<b>nnnntr</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 8:21am<b>lifesentence</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:02am<b>mallu86</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:41pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:34pm<b>KitzaKid69</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:59pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:13am<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:20am<b>Anthonym9988</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:29pm<b>0117</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>chase201</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:57pm<b>db32</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:48am<b>superfav</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:24am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:50pm<b>rockytop33</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:24am

alliewillie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33634) - you deserved it (3031)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (2425)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

#6968150
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (3596)

On 12/27/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

#6958036
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (2471)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:47pm - love - by Vicky - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32580) - you deserved it (3289)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my ex got invited to our Christmas Party. I also found out that she got much more presents and money from my family than I did. FML

#6934422
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

#6933650
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28320) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:04am - love - by HeSucks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (10437)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28860) - you deserved it (10437)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

#6933166
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (2899)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - love - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

#6931953
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25715) - you deserved it (2268)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I told her best friend the plan the day before. I got reservations to a restaurant on the beach, and we were going to arrive via boat. She never showed. Her parents called me asking why she left town to go to Paris. FML

#6926336
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2755)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:37pm - love - by hoplessG (man) - United States

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26625) - you deserved it (11814)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

#6892202
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (2018)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: