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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 15119
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

#7415965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (1927)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by Mills (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

#7395726
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42884) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/17/2010 at 9:41am - misc - by forgottendaughter (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33400) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

#7365064
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (2393)

On 01/15/2010 at 8:22pm - love - by woundedexwife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML

#7341507
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (4483)

On 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (13912)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (13912)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (13912)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML

#7316250
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38813) - you deserved it (4922)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:40am - love - by BetrayedGirl (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (4871)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

#7306926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41268) - you deserved it (2208)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (36693)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (36693)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)



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