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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 4:01am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 3:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
by insultedguy / 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML
by bleurghh / 12/31/2010 at 10:06am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by ohemmgeee / 12/31/2010 at 6:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 2:43am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 3:01am / United States (Oregon) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML
by Anonymous / 12/19/2010 at 4:17am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Alaska) / Work