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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by dirtbikeguy / 07/23/2015 at 9:05am / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML
by oil300 / 07/22/2015 at 10:34pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 7:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML
by father-in-nope / 07/21/2015 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by wtf did he do / 07/19/2015 at 5:02am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Hollzbananza / 07/11/2015 at 10:30am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML
by Julianapilikusplatosophophes / 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML
by matou / 07/09/2015 at 4:41pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids