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alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/14/2015 at 2:20am / United States / Love
by The horror... / 11/11/2015 at 11:52am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Health
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 10:33pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML
by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, at our wedding, instead of saying "I do", my fiancé paused before saying, "I can't do this", stepped down from the altar and proposed to my maid of honor. When she obviously refused, he ran from the venue bawling. He's not returning my calls. FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 12:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by RIPcareer / 10/18/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 12:00am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 8:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 12:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Annienomous / 10/09/2015 at 2:44am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML
by T-Bear / 10/07/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
by single once again / 10/07/2015 at 3:41am / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love