Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Online | Search for a member

alliewillie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13664
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - 5 hours ago<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:49am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Voij</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:18am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:12pm<b>sk8_king</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:40am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:58am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:29pm<b>mylifebitches666</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:29pm<b>VisheshSood</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:26pm<b>AVGIII</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:24pm<b>swharley</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:06am<b>MRP360</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:52am<b>decimater</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:58pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:47pm

alliewillie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (80734)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (4597)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend won a diamond engagement ring through a citywide competition. Instead of proposing to me, he's selling it. FML

#20913492
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44920) - you deserved it (15211)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:03am - love - by arthise (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49460) - you deserved it (13272)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57054) - you deserved it (3371)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50977) - you deserved it (7070)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (3574)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51838) - you deserved it (2456)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (4926)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML

#20898640
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59013) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/28/2013 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

#20897003
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42047) - you deserved it (5712)

On 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by my gran is a cuntwaffle (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (4092)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46973) - you deserved it (4225)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: