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alliewillie

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alliewillie

2Liked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 15798
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>LegitxNuke</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:53pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:59pm<b>juliapereth</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:04pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:24pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:49pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:06pm<b>haileybree2501</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Hithesh</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:10pm<b>FatedB</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:01am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ClassyCataclasis</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>strike2867</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:47pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:10am<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:56am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:02am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:20am<b>lifesentence</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:44pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48294) - you deserved it (3424)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43741) - you deserved it (4688)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52528) - you deserved it (7839)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46409) - you deserved it (6557)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47191) - you deserved it (17113)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (4974)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55780) - you deserved it (6186) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51439) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64412) - you deserved it (6116)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56669) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56106) - you deserved it (6906)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41515) - you deserved it (33672)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50896) - you deserved it (4182)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)



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