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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Taday I found out tat ma boyfriend of tree years,o can't get it up fir me and as been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently as no problem getting it upile watcing te niegbor undress from our window . FML
Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. real FML
Today while talking to mah boyfriend I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered ( I shaved mah legs this morning. ) He shook his head and said ( No I meant your face. ) big fat FML
Today, mah fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning!! He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing!! FML
Today I Got A Call About A Job Interview Saying I Was Ird . I Was Ecstatic Until Tey Calld Me Back An Said Tey'd Calld Te Wrong Applicant . Tey Calld Again Later Saying Tere'd Been A Mistake An I Really Was Ird . Wen I Went In To Confirm It Tey Said Tey'd Never Eard Of Me . FML
Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on mah brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor an waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML
Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me 4 "threatening to murder a customer". FML
Friday 27 March 2015