alliewillie

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Offline (the 07/14/2016 at 9:08pm)

alliewillie

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 30026
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>TheFeels</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:10am<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:29am<b>walid820014</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:39pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 2:51pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 5:53am<b>chuka81</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:15am<b>ebroks</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 6:50am<b>guskta</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 11:05am<b>archimedes200</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 4:55pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:54pm<b>random2212</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 11:24pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:25am<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 4:29pm<b>PissedTumor</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:38pm<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 7:50am<b>scout678</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:42pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:26pm

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:15pm<b>iwillreapyou</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 10:29pm<b>callcopse</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:56pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:19am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

by anon / 01/12/2016 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was walking across a bridge, a prepubescent middle schooler grabbed my phone from my hand and threw it into the water. His friend filmed it, high-fived him, and they both ran off. I got that phone less than a week ago. FML

by ripmyphone / 01/12/2016 at 8:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 1:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand. While my childhood friend was inside her. They apparently like pretending she's married while doing this. They made this self-discovery a week ago. Good for them. I don't want the ring back. FML

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

by peachass / 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's dad came onto me. I was shocked and awkwardly tried to exit the situation. My boyfriend then sprang out and started shouting at me. Apparently, it was a "test" to see if I would still be attracted to him in 30 years. I failed. What. The. Fuck. FML

by _schaden_freude / 12/27/2015 at 12:31pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

by swimmonster81 / 12/25/2015 at 4:22pm / Money

Today, I'm spending Christmas Eve at the hospital. Why? Because when I blew my nose, a ball of flesh connected to a tendril of skin shot out, and it wouldn't go back up. FML

by yek / 12/24/2015 at 2:01pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals