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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 15127
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - 22 hours ago<b>abattior</b> - yesterday at 10:49pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:06pm<b>haileybree2501</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Hithesh</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:10pm<b>FatedB</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:01am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:47pm<b>ClassyCataclasis</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>strike2867</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:47pm<b>bobdlawr</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 4:10am<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:56am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:02am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 8:20am<b>lifesentence</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 3:44pm<b>abv96</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 7:08am<b>feven</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:15pm<b>neveah_marie</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:24am

Liked!<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58498) - you deserved it (5679)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51183) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52549) - you deserved it (4903)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41472) - you deserved it (4477)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43534) - you deserved it (6729)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (5607)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43712) - you deserved it (4686)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52459) - you deserved it (7835)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (6550)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47153) - you deserved it (17105)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40407) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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