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alliewillie

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alliewillie

7Liked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 18103
  • Number of comments : 251
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>IMcPwn</b> - 6 hours ago<b>sexymomo1234</b> - 18 hours ago<b>enginsteve</b> - yesterday at 2:38am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - yesterday at 10:37am<b>sylverdrag</b> - yesterday at 8:15am<b>simon70</b> - yesterday at 8:03am<b>MortenM</b> - yesterday at 6:09am<b>robertd73</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:31am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:56pm<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>bluegreenfml</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:16pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Hawx07</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>tbloom</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:52pm<b>stully99</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:39pm<b>biogineer</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:08pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:27am

Liked!<b>IamHercules</b> - yesterday at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48249) - you deserved it (3990)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47562) - you deserved it (5390)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

#21247836
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36235) - you deserved it (9426)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36480) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49010) - you deserved it (6082)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (16601)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44704) - you deserved it (16554)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43311) - you deserved it (27634)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51751) - you deserved it (21138)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (36130)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML

#21232452
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36090) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/08/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by freakedout (woman) - United States

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48911) - you deserved it (4188)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43492) - you deserved it (4560)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54557) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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