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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 13803
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>lukeshyp</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:49am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Voij</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:18am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:12pm<b>sk8_king</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:40am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:58am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:29pm<b>mylifebitches666</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:29pm<b>VisheshSood</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 1:26pm<b>AVGIII</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:24pm<b>swharley</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:06am<b>MRP360</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:52am<b>decimater</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:58pm

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58938) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46338) - you deserved it (6403)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

#21151390
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (8822)

On 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm - intimacy - by whoops (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32488) - you deserved it (52036)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55671) - you deserved it (7126)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, me and the guy I was dating ran into my sister at the mall. He took one look at her and mumbled, "Great, I chose the ugly one" under his breath. FML

#21137666
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58437) - you deserved it (5674)

On 05/12/2014 at 12:01pm - love - by bambam - United States (Texas)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51129) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51932) - you deserved it (4836)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (4436)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (6722)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37458) - you deserved it (5565)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48211) - you deserved it (3417)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (4681)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML



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