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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13000
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>nnnntr</b> - yesterday at 8:21am<b>lifesentence</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:02am<b>mallu86</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:41pm<b>SinfulTragedy</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:34pm<b>KitzaKid69</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:59pm<b>mmtiki</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:13am<b>ChristianH39</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:20am<b>Anthonym9988</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:29pm<b>0117</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>chase201</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:57pm<b>db32</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:48am<b>superfav</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:24am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:50pm<b>rockytop33</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:24am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:14am

alliewillie's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52106) - you deserved it (7819)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46252) - you deserved it (6545)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (17065)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (4968)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (6002) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51039) - you deserved it (5810)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62879) - you deserved it (5966)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55959) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55881) - you deserved it (6888)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41394) - you deserved it (33575)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50719) - you deserved it (4171)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (5266)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44061) - you deserved it (4711)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49105) - you deserved it (8479)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



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