This member hasn't filled in their description.
alliewillie's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
alliewillie's favorite FMLs
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half informed me that he had "accepted" my stomach, even though it didn't conform to his "preference" for a flat stomach. He then added that his acceptance doesn't extend to my "chunky thighs". FML
by chunky monkey / 03/14/2016 at 2:26pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML
by buttercup92 / 03/13/2016 at 9:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by cemakara3 / 03/12/2016 at 3:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by sick of this shit / 03/12/2016 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
by no paedo / 03/11/2016 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work
by awkwardmandy / 03/11/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
by idontlikebitter / 03/08/2016 at 4:10pm / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous
Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML
by leafynitemare / 03/08/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
by gayvsgay / 03/06/2016 at 10:31am / Germany (Saarland) / Intimacy
by man-period? / 03/02/2016 at 1:48am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by woahlaura / 02/14/2016 at 11:26am / United States (Texas) / Love