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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 15972
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

#2109
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9400) - you deserved it (31187)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

#1975
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (2006)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by mat - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (1656)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28486) - you deserved it (8319)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

#1435
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Noname - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

#1435
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Noname - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

#1435
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24141) - you deserved it (1685)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Noname - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5898) - you deserved it (47438)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22144) - you deserved it (5148)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (5713)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (5148)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26080) - you deserved it (2019)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

#619
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34172) - you deserved it (1551)

On 12/28/2008 at 8:41pm - misc - by pop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (7447)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

#585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you deserved it (7447)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:19am - intimacy - by sixsix - Sent from mobile version



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