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alliewillie

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alliewillie

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25257
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>duduv2</b> - 5 hours ago<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 1:02am<b>canadaguy08</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:05pm<b>JupiterPainon</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:31pm<b>rachie12435</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Siimonrogerss</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:32am<b>butterfingers583</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 10:09pm<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:23am<b>jesterinperil</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:01am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:49pm<b>user109012</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 6:38am<b>Paintonmyarms214</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:43pm<b>TPH1979</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:04pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:55am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:05am<b>TheRealRiley</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:22am<b>HerpityDerp</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:11pm

Fucked!<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:19am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174473) - you deserved it (21547)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

#305736
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69960) - you deserved it (28677)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144466) - you deserved it (21788)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

#284763
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66848) - you deserved it (22701)

On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55214) - you deserved it (102658)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84006) - you deserved it (5312)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70848) - you deserved it (9011)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76070) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57412) - you deserved it (4523)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86589) - you deserved it (6794)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86589) - you deserved it (6794)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (106328)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)



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