Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (yesterday at 2:10pm) | Search for a member

alliewillie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14279
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>neveah_marie</b> - 19 hours ago<b>McDerpface</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:11am<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:58pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:13pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:56pm<b>lukeshyp</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:52pm<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:09pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:49am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:49pm<b>Voij</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 2:58am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:18am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:12pm<b>sk8_king</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 9:54pm<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 8:40am<b>Fou_Lou</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:58am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:29pm<b>mylifebitches666</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 10:29pm

alliewillie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355767) - you deserved it (17939)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355767) - you deserved it (17939)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (422781) - you deserved it (60461)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (422781) - you deserved it (60461)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

#1775863
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (23647)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:50am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76753) - you deserved it (23401)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69850) - you deserved it (41890)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

#1747216
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76524) - you deserved it (4207)

On 05/08/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by WonderWall09 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML

#1717469
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49518) - you deserved it (4152)

On 05/07/2009 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (95656)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (69832)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: