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alliewillie

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alliewillie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5885
  • Number of comments : 208
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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alliewillie's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (7528)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14452) - you deserved it (2284)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13227) - you deserved it (1020)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (1928)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (1988)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (1983)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (4574)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16476) - you deserved it (1245)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1225)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62387) - you deserved it (6322)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62387) - you deserved it (6322)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (1414)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (1414)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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