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alliewillie

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:54am) | Search for a member

alliewillie

3Liked!

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  • Number of visits : 16877
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:28am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:04am<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>Jenra</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:13am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:43pm<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:32pm<b>needs2Bsaid</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:08am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:06am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:45pm<b>DerpyPotatoes</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:28pm<b>lilbutton3</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:08pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:33pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:23pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:53am<b>muis545</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:26am<b>pmnj19</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:24am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62464) - you deserved it (5423)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59069) - you deserved it (8480)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58263) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65000) - you deserved it (6592)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (2565)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (7113)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47327) - you deserved it (5517)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

#20801990
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46125) - you deserved it (3497)

On 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm - misc - by GeeThanks (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

#20801861
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42303) - you deserved it (7602)

On 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61922) - you deserved it (5389)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

#20800769
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50654) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/24/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60369) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

#20793609
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55563) - you deserved it (2910)

On 07/20/2013 at 2:31am - kids - by Happyunlucky (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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