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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 14257
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

#5476343
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/25/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML

#5466337
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68199) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/25/2009 at 1:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that being rhythmically challenged really really sucks. I was trying to dance around sexily for my girlfriend, and I was doing that one move where you thrust your pelvis forward, and swing you hand from side to side. I hit myself in the nuts. FML

#5460176
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6491) - you deserved it (21770)

On 09/25/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Dumbfuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

#5451406
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/24/2009 at 6:10pm - work - by ewewew (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found a video camera behind a plant in my bedroom. My husband uses it to video tape himself having sex, with another woman. FML

#5429475
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (2125)

On 09/23/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (39882)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

#5423038
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40248) - you deserved it (14036)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37579) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML

#5385782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (40216)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52671) - you deserved it (8824)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (3324)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36626) - you deserved it (7874)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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