Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:54am) | Search for a member

alliewillie

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16764
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:04am<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>Jenra</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 10:13am<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:43pm<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:32pm<b>needs2Bsaid</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:08am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:06am<b>Nooblah</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:45pm<b>DerpyPotatoes</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:28pm<b>lilbutton3</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:23pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:08pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:33pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:23pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:53am<b>muis545</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:26am<b>pmnj19</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:24am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:35am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

#5826469
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37970) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:00am - health - by tooflufoschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending the night at my boyfriend's house, I was heading out the door when he called me back to hand me something I had left at his house a while ago. It was one of my bras. It wasn't until I got home I noticed the cup size was a B. I'm a size D. FML

#5793805
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36187) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:03am - love - by Jennagirl (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

#5789871
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you deserved it (4015)

On 10/12/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by ohgosh (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53032) - you deserved it (26901)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML

#5772733
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34959) - you deserved it (2786)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

#5762164
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33828) - you deserved it (19144)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by perfectmoment - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13966) - you deserved it (31518)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

#5733211
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (3554)

On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (3933)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

#5721043
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9728) - you deserved it (30320)

On 10/08/2009 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166432) - you deserved it (8217)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

#5690935
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (6194)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

#5690935
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35625) - you deserved it (6194)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: