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alliewillie

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alliewillie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10780
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (51699)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a business trip, I walked in to the house to find my husband nowhere to be seen. I called out his name and he came round the corner saying "Coming baby." When he came through the door he said "Oh it's you..." FML

#4923789
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47859) - you deserved it (2030)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

#4912906
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (3177)

On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy I've been dating tells me that I need to stop hanging on him in public because it's ruining his game with other girls. FML

#4909488
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (4958)

On 08/29/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by Intheway (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs, I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex and afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd had great sex also. FML

#4879215
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53287) - you deserved it (3496)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:43am - intimacy - by Phoellie (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68372) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14460) - you deserved it (45635)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML

#4854965
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (2815)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by catlady5569 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML

#4823053
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4572)

On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a customer brought her kids into the store where I work. I like to make people laugh so being my usual joking self I kidded "Why aren't those kids in school?". She didn't laugh when she said that their house burned down the night before and the kids had no clothes to wear to school. FML

#4807414
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40532) - you deserved it (11009)

On 08/25/2009 at 9:21am - work - by mybad - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

#4800729
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33466) - you deserved it (6360)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I almost got married. After the elaborate and very expensive wedding, my "husband" decided he did not want to sign the marriage license because he wasn't sure if he really wanted to settle down after all. FML

#4775370
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:16am - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41522) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (2852)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

#4750882
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (1283)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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