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alliewillie

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alliewillie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10707
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (15681)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43158) - you deserved it (14283)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML

#5154574
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29698) - you deserved it (2073)

On 09/09/2009 at 7:30pm - work - by slashteddy (woman) - United States

Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML

#5151842
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51886) - you deserved it (4744)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

#5150637
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34404) - you deserved it (3505)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by m - United States

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165600) - you deserved it (16655)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

#5144800
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12315) - you deserved it (47019)

On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (6101)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be hot to get it on in the gym storage room at school. Apparently so did my Chemistry and Drama teachers. FML

#5131831
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (6101)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by TRAMATIZED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9200) - you deserved it (38670)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52795) - you deserved it (2060)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

#5103491
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73215) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/07/2009 at 11:39am - love - by SingleGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65877) - you deserved it (3868)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17495) - you deserved it (48865)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9229) - you deserved it (61761)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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