Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

alliewillie

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18243
  • Number of comments : 251
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Damafia</b> - 20 hours ago<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:02am<b>IMcPwn</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:15pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:48am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:38am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>sylverdrag</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:15am<b>simon70</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:03am<b>MortenM</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:09am<b>robertd73</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:31am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:56pm<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:06pm<b>Scryll</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:10pm<b>bluegreenfml</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 7:16pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Hawx07</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:08pm<b>tbloom</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:52pm<b>stully99</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:39pm

Liked!<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML

#6148813
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (7349)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:00am - love - by reality_stricken (woman) - Guam

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (6677)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38352) - you deserved it (2359)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2543)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (2543)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you deserved it (10878)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (2109)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML

#6043300
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12994) - you deserved it (54923)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (83288)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

#6042161
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9039) - you deserved it (83288)

On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (6145)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: