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alliewillie

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alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 14315
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

#6035910
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28397) - you deserved it (6137)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

#6020793
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (4721)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

#6005741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (2250)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Shobz (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

#6005741
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30463) - you deserved it (2250)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Shobz (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

#5998375
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31842) - you deserved it (1779)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm - love - by LTJFP (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31991) - you deserved it (2093)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (8723)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

#5971650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (5398)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend at work, only to notice that his neck was covered in hickies. The night before, he texted me saying he needed alone time to get his mind together. Looks like he got together with another mind. FML

#5942129
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (2837)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:09am - love - by LonelyHeart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)



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