Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Search for a member

alliewillie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12860
  • Number of comments : 237
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>Anthonym9988</b> - yesterday at 9:29pm<b>0117</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:09pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>chase201</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:57pm<b>db32</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:48am<b>superfav</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:26pm<b>EvilVein</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:24am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:50pm<b>rockytop33</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 9:24am<b>hardflip95</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:14am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:59am<b>Arni792</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 11:38am<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Slayer8674</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 7:58am<b>Yanchi</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:10am<b>sawq1023</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 5:03am<b>yareens</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 3:08am

alliewillie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (2747)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

#5940105
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:53am - love - by uneek_3225 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

#5937926
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49313) - you deserved it (4724)

On 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

#5931045
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25417) - you deserved it (3583)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Busted (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

#5907906
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37958) - you deserved it (3005)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:26am - health - by 20lbknockout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (5408)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35097) - you deserved it (6814)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42207) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML

#5870216
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (4413)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (40573)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

#5848381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (4616)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

#5848381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (4616)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that my virus protection program now has a virus. FML

#5839185
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (4540)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: