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alliewillie

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 7:41pm) | Search for a member

alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 15951
  • Number of comments : 244
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's page activity

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Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63678) - you deserved it (8107)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48121) - you deserved it (17179)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47285) - you deserved it (3835)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52138) - you deserved it (3951)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61573) - you deserved it (4601)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55792) - you deserved it (4622)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (4836)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (4913)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, my fiancé told me he wished he never met me and that he wished I didn't exist. Our wedding is next week. FML

#20819957
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49473) - you deserved it (4860)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:37am - love - by uniannonymous - United Kingdom (Merton)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38295) - you deserved it (6344)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51051) - you deserved it (10864)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67423) - you deserved it (5815)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59923) - you deserved it (6355)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53153) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States



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