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alliewillie

Offline (the 12/15/2014 at 5:54am) | Search for a member

alliewillie

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  • Number of visits : 16745
  • Number of comments : 246
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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alliewillie's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (4033)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (2369)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35418) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37858) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (2466)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

#21312092
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (5841)

On 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm - love - by hh - United States (South Dakota)

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40568) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (2470)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (12655)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

#21309730
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42167) - you deserved it (8484)

On 12/01/2014 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42003) - you deserved it (10630)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (4961)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32594) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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