Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

alliewillie

Offline (yesterday at 2:06am) | Search for a member

alliewillie

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27191
  • Number of comments : 256
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

alliewillie's page activity

Visits<b>supr_sexy</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 2:07pm<b>sabres5730</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:57pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:25pm<b>JimonSern</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:42am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 2:13pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:32am<b>samrompain</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 6:43pm<b>ruprisura</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:29pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:17pm<b>muis545</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:56pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:32pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 6:04am<b>tigersman1c</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:30pm<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:22am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 12:18am<b>Mons</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:41pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 11:15am

Fucked!<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:23pm<b>hai111</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:19am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:18am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:57am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 10:12am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:18am<b>TashyXD101</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 11:56pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:40pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:59am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:47am

alliewillie's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alliewillie's badges

alliewillie's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26902) - you deserved it (1576)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

#21520383
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (1206)

On 01/28/2016 at 11:05am - misc - by crinitis - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my daughter's fundraiser, I noticed that a guy with a face only a fist could love kept staring at her. I said "Beautiful, isn't she?" Before I could tell him to keep it in his damned pants, he replied "Hah. She's my girlfriend, dude. Total beast in the sack." Complete news to me on both counts. FML

#21520041
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (2718)

On 01/27/2016 at 11:35am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

#21518460
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (1390)

On 01/23/2016 at 4:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

#21516843
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (1167)

On 01/19/2016 at 1:41am - love - by FML - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

#21515709
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/15/2016 at 9:28pm - love - by Gamergirl137 - United States (California)

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

#21514581
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (1064)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:54am - misc - by NeedsANewApartment (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

#21514494
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (1207)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:41pm - misc - by anon - United States

Today, while I was walking across a bridge, a prepubescent middle schooler grabbed my phone from my hand and threw it into the water. His friend filmed it, high-fived him, and they both ran off. I got that phone less than a week ago. FML

#21514472
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (1513)

On 01/12/2016 at 8:18pm - misc - by ripmyphone - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

#21513340
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (72751)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

#21510516
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/02/2016 at 3:25am - kids - by me - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I have a stomach bug. I went to go downstairs, and my cat decided to dart between my legs, causing me to trip and fall down the stairs in a pinwheel of vomit. FML

#21510463
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (1646)

On 01/02/2016 at 12:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: