allieallie18

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Offline (the 12/16/2014 at 3:23pm)

allieallie18

1Fucked!

allieallie18allieallie18
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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allieallie18's page activity

Visits<b>ApacheC424</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:33pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:48am<b>briang959</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:06am<b>djstiv3</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:34am<b>spencer4148</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:59am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:19pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:47am<b>atav</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:02pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:07am<b>Helvanica</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:50pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:57pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:35am<b>kaya1001</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:34pm<b>RapFan21</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:57pm<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:26pm<b>MortenM</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:21pm<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 9:31am

Fucked!<b>spencer4148</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:03pm

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allieallie18's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

by axewoman / 10/17/2014 at 4:14am / Love

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

by Happy Employee / 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

by drayloon / 08/27/2014 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

by nhyari / 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

by muffins / 08/09/2014 at 9:50am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

by Tipless / 11/07/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

by Noname / 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous