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allie5699

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allie5699

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About allie5699 : I, allie5699, am a very very silly little ladie(: hehehe

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allie5699's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

#19173399
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (3788)

On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

#19169657
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (3300)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (32602)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34109) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26678) - you deserved it (6306)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML

#19122021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20742) - you deserved it (6746)

On 02/20/2012 at 10:53am - love - by DBZ (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50311) - you deserved it (5480)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (4483)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

#18456700
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (5994)

On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

#18451014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (7741)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48459) - you deserved it (6718)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (7925)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)



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