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allie2590

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allie2590

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 31809
  • Number of comments : 505
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>iamjc</b> - yesterday at 10:08am<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 2:20pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:21pm<b>NotBlargo</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:18am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:27pm<b>prabhakaran</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:32pm<b>angeluv_2014</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:58pm<b>DungeonSlayer</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 1:28am<b>olpally</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:10am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:43pm<b>sallee23444</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 9:24pm<b>laxbro518</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:04pm<b>mahluf</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:50pm<b>BethanyRae</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:31pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:39pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:25pm<b>Rayth</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:38am

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (10939)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59728) - you deserved it (13430)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59728) - you deserved it (13430)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40445) - you deserved it (140134)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68053) - you deserved it (7702)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

#1865154
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43140) - you deserved it (7032)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:48am - work - by pdnne (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98174) - you deserved it (22528)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (261361) - you deserved it (17227)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51407) - you deserved it (8605)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59964) - you deserved it (4536)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19439) - you deserved it (71754)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (68864)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (65308)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (41524)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)



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