About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!
allie2590's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
allie2590's favorite FMLs
by godhatesme / 12/10/2011 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2011 at 3:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
by krystal / 10/26/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
by number2 / 10/17/2011 at 9:14pm / United States / Work
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids
by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money
by shocked / 08/25/2011 at 2:10pm / United States / Intimacy
by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him.… Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my… Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am.…