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allie2590

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allie2590

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33036
  • Number of comments : 523
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

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Liked!<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (33180)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17374) - you deserved it (41234)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14605) - you deserved it (39306)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML

#13035925
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19868) - you deserved it (5528)

On 09/13/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by Joplin - United Kingdom

Today, 50,000 copies of the new edition of the town's phone book came out. I manage a pizza place and bought a full menu ad. Apparently the ad designer got confused, as they placed my cell phone number in huge bold letters at the bottom of the ad instead of the store's phone number. FML

#12949707
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (3275)

On 09/07/2010 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

#12933577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9771) - you deserved it (33619)

On 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by jackson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (11683)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

#12095964
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (37659)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:06am - health - by one_BAMF - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

#11865183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (9383)

On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

#10821429
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26099) - you deserved it (12215)

On 05/28/2010 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

#10725342
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (6343)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14am - kids - by blahblah - United States (New York)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17506) - you deserved it (25883)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (9141)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26087) - you deserved it (3815)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7888) - you deserved it (25342)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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