allie2590

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allie2590

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39288
  • Number of comments : 587
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>junjunbun</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 9:33am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:39am<b>NewYorkGuy69</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 12:20pm<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:11am<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 8:46am<b>xBlueXXFirex935</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 10:26pm<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:48pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 9:11pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:02pm<b>oneinone</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 9:56am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:13pm<b>JD2Chameleons</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 10:36pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 2:34am<b>tofimixy</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 7:13pm<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 5:31pm<b>pompelop</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:21pm<b>FML_SideWays69</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 2:09am<b>Blee864</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:48pm

Fucked!<b>Cipher_585</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:46pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:34am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 7:12pm<b>UserDoesExist</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:45am<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 10:07pm<b>TrippyEyes</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 6:54am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:27am<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:36am<b>KhaleesiDannie</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 6:54am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm

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allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

by flustered / 05/06/2012 at 10:57am / United States (South Dakota) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

by Quackers / 04/11/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work