Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

allie2590

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 33418
  • Number of comments : 524
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Saone</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 1:50pm<b>rozline96</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:23am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:27am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 4:00am<b>tony1891</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Bman54</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:42am<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:08am<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:41pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:47am<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 10:44am<b>faggotron123</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:51am<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:06pm<b>Marcelb</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:42pm

Liked!<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13309) - you deserved it (52258)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (2368)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33081) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61292) - you deserved it (7526)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9844) - you deserved it (24438)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36622) - you deserved it (5481)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (57939)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML

#16642737
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32345) - you deserved it (4129)

On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42120) - you deserved it (8328)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (10289)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML

#16199219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9664) - you deserved it (27558)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (16779)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (3767)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

#15884544
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2234)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:26am - work - by op-poopy - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: