Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allie2590

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

allie2590

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35873
  • Number of comments : 531
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>FRAGILE</b> - yesterday at 8:58am<b>Jay0501</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:58pm<b>anonymous_guy32</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 8:28am<b>crazzzy_man1</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 5:44pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:48pm<b>iluvmonkeys</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:47pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:11pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:19pm<b>katrynaalyse</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:03pm<b>ofeofe</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:04pm<b>zieelona</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:17am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:00pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:33pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:16pm

Fucked!<b>FRAGILE</b> - yesterday at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (9058) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (9493)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26164) - you deserved it (5456)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (9972)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (6190)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (10103)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21396) - you deserved it (41218)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (5541)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14877) - you deserved it (37438)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (2963)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (18673)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10647) - you deserved it (70131)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: