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allie2590

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allie2590

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1990 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 37430
  • Number of comments : 534
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About allie2590 : I'm the happiest snake of all!

allie2590's page activity

Visits<b>rcarn</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:14am<b>Ifuckedthefeartu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 9:47pm<b>Vman1702</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 7:07am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 2:21pm<b>Peacheess</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:15pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:39am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:40pm<b>noodlemantra</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bduczer</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:45pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 5:48pm<b>joco4</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:02pm<b>wow2mylife</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 10:16pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:32pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:17am<b>wil1029</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 1:00am<b>RobertTheSPOOK</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:56pm

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:21pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 6:40pm<b>FRAGILE</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:58pm<b>jessicadani</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:11am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:43am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:25am<b>pennyprostitute</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:06am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:43am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:44am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:35am

allie2590's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of allie2590's badges

allie2590's favorite FMLs

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (9809)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34460) - you deserved it (5017)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (31133)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (4868)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32255) - you deserved it (3054)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (4355)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (22489)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (4514)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (3959)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8816) - you deserved it (35293)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25777) - you deserved it (2822)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (3261)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States



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