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allforyoux3

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allforyoux3

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4683
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About allforyoux3 : I'm a Criminal Justice major aspiring to become a police officer.

allforyoux3's page activity

Visits<b>trollcrusher</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 1:24am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:25am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:44pm<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 1:25pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:01pm<b>ansarias</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:32am<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:10pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 3:59am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 2:43am<b>martin8337</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:02am<b>88fjtus</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:49am<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:53am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:19am<b>Northshore75</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:59pm<b>batah</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:30pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:47am

Fucked!<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 4:02am

allforyoux3's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of allforyoux3's badges

allforyoux3's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49566) - you deserved it (4950)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47049) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (37485)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51416) - you deserved it (11145)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44039) - you deserved it (3916)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (65737)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50420) - you deserved it (24346)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (17857)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52005) - you deserved it (11241)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58925) - you deserved it (9693)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60574) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55215) - you deserved it (9461)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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