Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allforyoux3

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

allforyoux3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1744
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About allforyoux3 : I'm a Criminal Justice major aspiring to become a police officer.

allforyoux3's page activity

Visits<b>starsierra</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:15am<b>serioussideeffct</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:43am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:54am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:33pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 12:34pm<b>ckirksey</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:11pm<b>tealrobot</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:29am<b>Ben009</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:27am<b>PsychoBillyGoat</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:43pm<b>Mydogiscool123</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:42pm<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:05am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:47pm<b>RosybooXx</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:31pm<b>PL0WW</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:31am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:20pm<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:41am

allforyoux3's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of allforyoux3's badges

allforyoux3's favorite FMLs

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (8200)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48704) - you deserved it (6366)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50918) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (36118)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49447) - you deserved it (10666)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41613) - you deserved it (3659)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (64886)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

#20830989
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (3434)

On 08/10/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47903) - you deserved it (23045)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: