Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

allacat

Search for a member

allacat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 525
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

allacat's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:17pm

allacat's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

allacat's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (4304)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (3741)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (2346)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (59510)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7464) - you deserved it (31176)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

#8210549
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (5269)

On 02/13/2010 at 3:11pm - kids - by owwie - United States

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (3157)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (12733)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7082) - you deserved it (53447)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family sat me down and told me I was spending way too much time with my boyfriend and not enough time with them. My boyfriend has been away in Iraq for six months and just came home a week ago. FML

#6406317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (2154)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:03pm - love - by gj09 - United States

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

#4840344
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76909) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went on our 2nd date. We decided to get to know each other with a game. I asked him what makes him nervous. He said "talking to really attractive girls." I then asked him if I was making him nervous. He said no. FML

#4627124
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43514) - you deserved it (14299)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (3110)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78608) - you deserved it (4843)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: