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Offline (the 10/29/2015 at 9:06pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 September 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1045
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About aljop : Football player, track runner, boxer. Freshmen.

aljop's page activity

Visits<b>CamIsTheMan</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 10:12am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 5:28am<b>liv1222</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:57pm<b>lookingforturner</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:36pm<b>elvenlegs</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:15pm<b>lord_farqwad</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:58pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 4:37am<b>Syncronisis</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:48pm<b>HeadlessSparrow</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:04pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:04pm<b>GeorgeCarter95</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 11:24am<b>ShadowClone27</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:22am<b>loveestt</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Queen_bee1234</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 7:51am<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:38pm<b>cmonger</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:46pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:26pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>CamIsTheMan</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 4:13pm

aljop's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of aljop's badges

aljop's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

by a critically injured shitehawk / 04/25/2015 at 6:34am / United Kingdom (York) / Love

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

by noway / 03/22/2015 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm / Intimacy

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML

by Clive81 / 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

by StrawHatBill / 02/13/2015 at 9:54am / United States / Love

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

by burningman / 01/22/2015 at 5:40am / Germany (Hessen) / Transportation

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

by chelse_elyce / 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm / United States / Intimacy