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Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56627) - you deserved it (6312)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44274) - you deserved it (6223)
On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (30695)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5238) - you deserved it (23139)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30854) - you deserved it (3076)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (2810)
On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (33435)
On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (4362)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by bleh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (3006)
On 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (203)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by burned (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5482) - you deserved it (34646)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by terry (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (11977)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5938) - you deserved it (42765)
On 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by newlydumped (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14063) - you deserved it (34084)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (6078)
On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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