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aliyourpally's favorite FMLs
by weirdesout / 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by masterzach21 / 01/22/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
by Michele / 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm / United States / Health
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML
by bleh / 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
by burned / 11/04/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was DJing for a church event where I was stationed in the middle and everyone was sitting behind me. I walked over to get something to drink and eat and come back with glaring looks. My screensaver had came on with pictures of my naked girlfriend. FML
by terry / 11/01/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
by newlydumped / 09/20/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals
Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy