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aliyourpally's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
by anon / 03/05/2011 at 5:15am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
by surfergal91 / 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Average / 02/13/2011 at 2:16am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by bob / 02/05/2011 at 7:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
by drunkfacebookuser / 10/23/2010 at 9:15am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML
by themanzz / 10/08/2010 at 8:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…